Divine Punishment, Pigtailed Reparation
by foesjoe
Summary: Seems like the reason for Ranma's problems is a curse placed on an earlier incarnation of his by a wrathful Goddess. That has to suck. Luckily, he now gets a chance to remove it as the Goddess Peorth enters his life! Ranma minor A!MG cross
1. Divine Punishment

Disclaimer: The characters of Ranma½ do not belong to me. I am merely abusing them for my own disturbing fantasies and am in no way trying to profit from this.

**Divine Punishment, Pigtailed Reparation**

a Ranma½ fan fiction

"Mister Ranma! Mister Ranma!" A young boy shouted as he ran through the dirt roads of his home town, 2314 BC. "I have an urgent message for you, Mister Ranma! Where are you?"

A friendly elderly woman stopped the young boy by grabbing his arm as he was about to run past her. "Hold on a minute, sonny. You say you're looking for Ranma?"

"Yes, ma'am," the boy said with a nod of his head.

"And why are you looking for him, sonny? If you don't mind my asking," the old woman asked with a smile, causing even more wrinkles to appear in her dried up old face.

"The oracle told me to find him and bring him to the temple as fast as I can," the young boy exclaimed proudly, crossing his arms in front of his chest and nodding with his eyes closed and a happy smile on his face. It was a good thing he had his eyes closed or he would have ended up having nightmares from that horrible sight for the rest of his life.

Judging by the way the young boy held himself with his head raised and his chest puffed out, he was clearly of the impression that it was a great honour for him to be sent on this errand. It never even crossed his mind that the novices at the temple were just being lazy bastards and didn't want to go looking for that womanising jerk themselves.

"Oh, in that case Ranma is just a little outside of town, practising his combat techniques," the old woman told the young boy.

"Thanks, granny!"

* * *

"Mister Ranma, there you are!"

Ranma stopped in mid-punch and looked up as he heard somebody shout his name. A young boy was running towards him with a proud smile on his face.

"I have finally found you, Mister Ranma! You have to come quickly, the oracle asked for your presence at the temple and the novices asked me to go and look for you. They said I was the best suited for the job because I'm such a fast runner."

Ranma pretended to be paying attention to what the young boy was saying while he actually was flirting with that young, buxom, purple haired girl across the clearing, who had been paying close attention to him during his whole practice session. When he heard the young boy mention the oracle, however, he looked up sharply and focused his whole attention on the small messenger and what he had to say.

"Feh, figures they wouldn't come looking for me themselves," the young warrior sniffed derisively. "Those pathetic wusses have always been jealous of my supreme manliness. No wonder they duped you into finding me."

"Huh? What do you mean, Mister Ranma?" the young messenger asked with a confused expression on his cute little face.

"That's not important now. Let's hurry to the temple. I'm sure the Gods finally started to appreciate my supreme manliness as well as my impressive battle prowess and have selected me to carry out a heroic quest of epic proportions!"

The boy could only roll his eyes in the face of such overwhelming narcissism and arrogance. "Sure whatever you say, Mister Ranma." By the time he had uttered those words and focused his gaze back to where Ranma had been standing, the young warrior was already halfway across the clearing, a dust cloud rising up behind him.

"Hey, wait for me, Mister Ranma!"

* * *

A muscular, handsome young man with raven black hair swaggered towards the temple entrance and the two novices who were standing guard on either side of it.

"Hey there, Ryoga, Tatewaki. How's it going? Still busy improving your martial arts by standing around all day?" Ranma greeted his two rivals with a grin that communicated his felt superiority more than a thousands words ever could.

Two years prior, they had all three been offered positions as novices at the temple. Ryoga and Tatewaki had immediately accepted this very honourable position. Ranma, however, had refused, stating that he was destined for something much greater than standing around and wiping old men's asses all day.

"Ranma," Ryoga grudgingly returned the greeting with a small nod of his head. Oh, how he longed to wipe that smug smirk off that jerk's face. _Stupid old farts with their stupid rules, forbidding me from beating up stupid jerks,_ he grumbled mentally.

"The oracle has requested your presence, you may enter," Tatewaki ground out through gritted teeth, and opened the doors towards the inner section of the temple, allowing Ranma entrance.

"Thank you," Ranma said. He proceeded towards the room where the oracle was located, but not before shooting his two former rivals one last smug grin.

Once Ranma was out of earshot, Ryoga couldn't contain his anger at the unfairness of their situations any longer. "I can't believe the oracle asked specifically for that self-absorbed, arrogant jerk!" he growled while he shook in barely restrained rage.

"You do not need to tell me, brother Ryoga. I find it just as unbelievable as you do. Especially if we take into consideration that the only times the oracle requested the presence of one specific warrior was when the Gods themselves had chosen that warrior to carry out a task for them."

"I know! That's exactly what's making me so angry! And stop with that stupid 'brother Ryoga' thing! I'm not your brother and I don't want to be, either!"

"As you wish, brother Ryoga."

Ryoga could only grumble in impotent anger and silently curse the rules novices at the temple had to follow. _Stupid old farts with their stupid rules, forbidding me from beating up stupid idiots._

* * *

Ranma strutted through the narrow and winding hallways of the temple that led to the oracle's location with his head held high and his chest puffed out, taking in every detail. After all, nobody was allowed entrance to this holiest of places. Only the oracle himself was allowed inside the room where the holy flame was located. The only exception being when the oracle received a vision from the Gods when they were in need of the service of one or more of their warriors.

As long as he could remember, his mother had always told him what an extraordinary specimen of manliness he was, and that it was only a matter of time until the Gods themselves would take notice of this. So it was only natural that, as soon as he had been able to walk - which was at a much earlier age than other boys - he had started training in his tribe's combat arts. His mother had praised him every time he had managed to perfect another kata or beat one of his fellow warriors-in-training, and never tired of telling him how he would be the Gods' next chosen. Now, with his summons to the oracle, all his hard training had finally paid of, and his mother had been proven right at last.

After a short walk, Ranma finally reached the oracle's room. He sharply knocked three times on the door, before opening it and entering. Once he was inside, he had to keep his disappointment from showing on his face. Somehow, he had expected a little more than this.

The room containing the holy fire was circular and not very big, maybe four metres in diameter. In the middle of the room stood an altar, covered in white cloth. A big bowl was situated on top of the altar, and a bright white flame burned within it. The room was otherwise bare, except for a cushion on the ground directly in front of the altar on which a wrinkled, gnomish man clad in white robes sat.

"Ah, hello young warrior. My name is Happosai. I take it that you are Ranma?" the old man asked while he lazily took a drag from a pipe Ranma hadn't noticed before.

"Yes, honoured oracle, I am Ranma," the young warrior answered with a deep, respectful bow. "Why have you asked for my presence? Have the gods found themselves in admiration of my supreme manliness and impressive combat abilities and selected me for a heroic quest of epic proportions?"

The oracle sat staring stupidly at the young warrior before him for several moments, until he finally managed to shake off his bewilderment. "Err, yes yes, something like that." _I can't believe our Goddess Kuromizu chose **him**_

"Anyway, to get back on track," the old man continued. "Our Goddess Kuromizu approached me in a vision while I was meditating earlier today." Actually, he had fallen asleep after he had smoked some of the new herbs his wife Cologne had bred. That was some really good stuff. If there had ever been a being in history who could be said to have a green thumb, his wife had to be that being.

"Kuromizu told me of her mortal daughter she gave birth to sixteen years ago," the oracle went on with his tale. "She further told me that she had been looking for a suitable husband for her daughter for quite some time, until she finally found just the right man for her," The old man stopped at this point to take another drag from his pipe. After he had blown several smoke rings in the air, he sharply looked up at Ranma. "This man is you."

The young warrior in question didn't know what to say in response to that, and while he opened and closed his mouth in amazement, his imagination was running wild.

_Woah! The husband of the daughter of a GODDESS! Am I the luckiest guy on Earth or what? If she's the daughter of a Goddess, she has to be the hottest babe alive! I bet she has the longest, most perfect legs, and the biggest, most delicious breasts, and long silky smooth hair, topped with the most beautiful face imaginable._

Happosai looked on in amusement as the young man standing before him started drooling. He had a pretty good idea of what was going on in the young man's head at that moment. The amusement quickly wore off, however, as the old man's desire for another nap increased rapidly.

Finally, he couldn't take looking at the stupidly drooling warrior any longer and decided to interrupt Ranma's fantasies. "So, are you going to accept this task?"

"Are you kidding, old man?! Of course, I accept it! Who wouldn't want to be the husband of the hottest ba- err, I mean I'd be honoured to become the husband of our honoured Goddess Kuromizu's daughter," Ranma said with another deep bow.

"Yes yes, I thought as much. In that case, you are to meet her near the bridge across the river on the east side of town."

The oracle had hardly finished his sentence as a strong gust of wind indicated Ranma's departure.

"He's going to come back," Happosai predicted.

Not even a minute later, Ranma returned slightly out of breath. "Old man, what's the girl's name?"

"Louise," was the oracle's simple reply.

"Thanks, old man, gotta go. Don't want to keep her waiting!"

* * *

Ranma approached the meeting place with a rapidly beating heart and spotted a figure standing not for away from the bridge the oracle had mentioned.

"That's gotta be her," Ranma muttered excitedly, before taking several deep calming breaths. "Keep cool, Ranma. Kuromizu specifically picked you, there's no need to be nervous. She got overwhelmed by your manliness, just like your mother always told you, and selected you as her daughter's husband, you have absolutely no reason to be nervous."

His prop-speech finished, Ranma adjusted his best white robe he had donned specifically for this occasion one last time and walked towards the other figure. A short distance away from her, he had to stop and rub his eyes.

This couldn't be! It just couldn't be! Louise was a babe, he was sure of it! This, this **girl** standing near the bridge was as flat as a board! She had no figure at all! Also, her hair wasn't long and silky smooth, but short and boyish! And she didn't have the most beautiful face imaginable, either! At best she could be called cute, but very likely even that only when she smiled, if at all.

_Whatever Ranma, calm down, _the young warrior thought, _I'm sure she isn't Louise. She's just some random commoner girl waiting for her brother, or something. Yeah, that's gotta be it. _Mind made up, Ranma proceeded towards the girl. Maybe he could engage in casual conversation with her while he waited for Louise?

"Hello," he greeted her with his best charming smile as he drew near. "I'm Ranma."

"Ah, hello," the girl returned his greeting nervously with a slight blush on her cheeks. She was without a doubt overwhelmed by Ranma's manly presence, just like all the other girls he had met in his life. After staring into Ranma's stormy grey-blue eyes, her blush only worsened and she embarrassedly averted her gaze to the floor.

"What's your name?" the young warrior asked her with his best charming smile.

"Lou- lou- Louise," the girl stammered in response, revealing herself to be Ranma's future wife.

"Hehehe," Ranma giggled maniacally. "This isn't happening, this just can't be happening," He muttered to himself. The thought of that girl, who was most definitely NOT a babe, being his future wife didn't sit well with him at al,l and he started regretting his decision to accept the role of Louise' husband. He was most definitely not amused at being tricked into becoming the husband of such a plain looking girl.

_I could be spending my time with that purple haired babe, who had been watching my practice session this morning and couldn't keep her eyes off of me. Instead I'm here with this, this flat chested GIRL who claims to be Kuromizu's daughter Louise, _he thought angrily.

Ranma quickly looked around, hoping against hope that this was just a misunderstanding and to see some gorgeous woman approaching the bridge, but had no such look. He and the girl were the only people in the vicinity. He took several deep breaths in order to calm down and stifle his rage, but without any success.

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME!" the young warrior bellowed finally, as he was unable to keep hoping for a beautiful woman to appear and take the place of the girl in front of him, causing the mental image of his perfect future wife to evaporate in smoke. "THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE LOUISE!"

"Wh- wh- why? Wha- what's, what's wrong with me?" Louise stammered. She was clearly intimidated by the raging warrior.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'RE NOT A BABE, THAT'S WHAT!"

"I don't understand," the Goddess' daughter was growing increasingly uncomfortable in Ranma's presence, and took several steps backward, fearing he might lash out at her in his anger.

"Louise is the daughter of a Goddess! She has to have big, delicious breasts, and long, perfect legs, and long silky smooth hair, topped with the most beautiful face imaginable! While you," Ranma said, pointing in Louise' direction, "You're as flat as a board! You don't have any figure at all! You're built like a brick!"

Louise staggered back several more steps before she fell to her knees and started crying, Ranma's words clearly having a deep emotional impact on the poor girl.

* * *

Kuromizu was watching the meeting between her daughter and the young man she had selected as Louise' future husband from her divine abode with the help of a scrying pool, a small pleased smile decorating her face.

Up to the point where Ranma started to freak out.

The Goddess could only watch in disbelief as the man she chose to be Louise's spouse started behaving like a total ass and began deriding her daughter.

She started to tremble violently, trying to contain her wrath and curb her temper, but it proved to be a losing battle.

"HOW DARE HE CALL MY DAUGHTER 'FLATCHESTED' AND 'BUILT LIKE BRICK'?!" Kuromizu bellowed in rage, before she shakily pointed her index finger at her scrying pool and whispered several words, invoking her divine magic to punish the impudent fool.

"AHAHAHA!" She laughed maniacally. "Take that, Ranma!"

The Goddess observed in satisfaction as Ranma was struck down by several thousand bricks, which had suddenly come through a portal that had opened over the young warrior's head. "But I'm not yet finished, Ranma, not by long shot. This is only the beginning of your eternal punishment!"

With a wave of her hand Kuromizu disappeared.

* * *

The Goddess reappeared an instant later at her daughter's side. Both were looking at Ranma as he lay buried underneath several tons of bricks, struggling weakly to free himself. Louise was looking on in horror, while Kuromizu only sneered at the former candidate for the position as husband to her daughter.

Ranma noticed the new arrival and looked up, spotting another woman standing next to Louise who bore a striking resemblance to the girl. He guessed correctly that the new arrival was the Goddess who had chosen him. Surely she would help him, she had been overwhelmed by his manly presence and selected him to be the father of her grandchildren, after all. There was no way she was going to let him die.

"Help me," he managed to croak out and extended a shaking hand towards the Goddess. Not once did it cross his mind that the rain of bricks was a punishment for his vicious treatment of Louise.

"No, Ranma. I won't help you. I'm going to stand here and watch you die slowly and I'm going to enjoy every last minute of it," Kuromizu answered with a sneer. "But death is too weak a punishment for your crimes, therefore I'm going to curse you.

"You shall be reborn over and over and you shall never be able to tell the women you fall in love with how you feel about them. Instead you shall insult them like you just insulted my daughter, thereby pushing them away from you, to never find happiness.

"Furthermore, you will also forever be unable to dissuade any unwanted suitors from pursuing you, no matter their race, age, social standing, or gender.

And as final punishment, only short-tempered, violent tomboys shall henceforth fall in love with you!"

As Ranma breathed his last breath he could hear Kuromizu adding one last line.

"And I'll have you know that my husband 'Anon' once told me that the thing he likes most about me is my Delicious Flat Chest!"

------------

AN: Decided to continue this. Hope you get at least a little amusement out of it.


	2. Enter Peorth!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Somebody I'm too lazy to look up right now does. So don't sue me.

AN: Inspiration struck me and I've decided I'd give a continuation to my one-shot 'Divine Punishment' a try.

------------------------

Ranma limped along the streets of Nerima on his way back to the Tendo dojo, using a long stick for support. He had a huge lump on his head and his right eye was starting to swell shut.

"Hey, Ranma!" He heard somebody call his name.

Looking to his left, he saw Mister Arashi leaning on the wall surrounding his garden.

Ranma limped over towards the man. "Hello, Mr. Arashi. How are you doing?"

Mr. Arashi was on old man, a little smaller in height than Ranma. Deep wrinkles furrowed his face and the little hair that remained on his head had long since turned white.

"I'm fine, just doing some gardening," the older man held up a little shovel to illustrate his statement. "So what did you do this time to end up in such a state?"

The pigtailed young man sighed, then smiled a little. Mr Arashi always took time to listen to his tales of woe and sympathized with Ranma. He never told Ranma he was stupid, or made fun of him, or belittled him. The older man simply listened every time Ranma explained about his latest misadventure and told him not to worry about it. It was nice to have somebody who just listened to him.

"Ah well, I was just visiting my old buddy Ucchan. Everything was going fine, she cooked me some okonomiyaki, we talked a little and then she told me to wait and disappeared. She showed up a few minutes later in a frilly white dress and asked me what I thought about it. I told her that it didn't really suit her, since she was a mannish type of girl and that she should stick to pants and shirts. Then she starts screaming 'Ranma, you Jackass!' and starts beating me up with that damn spatula of hers."

"Oh that's rough," Mr Arashi sympathized.

"Yeah," Ranma sighed. "I just don't get it. I mean, why the hell does she ask for my opinion in the first place, if she's going to beat me up when I tell her honestly what I think?"

Mr. Arashi patted the young martial artist reassuringly on the shoulder. "Don't agonise over it, Ranma. It's just one of the many things about women we men will never understand."

"Oh well," Ranma said after a few moments of companionable silence. "I best get going. Bet Akane's just about ready to bash my head in for being away so long. See ya, Mr. Arashi!"

"Bye, Ranma." Mr. Arashi watched the pigtailed martial artist limp away until he disappeared behind a corner, then he went inside his house.

"Hey, Itomi!" The old man called out to his wife. "You won't believe what that stupid Saotome boy did this time!"

* * *

Ranma walked along his way, feeling a little better now that he had told somebody about his latest problem with one of his fiancées. 

Really, it was kind of odd how only violent girls with tomboyish tendencies got interested in him. Even when he still went to junior high school, the only girl that wanted to hang out with him was that strange Sakura girl, who had had an obsession with martial arts. And then she also just wanted to beat him up. Well, she wanted to spar, but since Ranma didn't like to hit girls, it amounted to letting Sakura beat him up a little until she got bored and left him alone.

He couldn't remember a single instance where a 'nice' girl had been interested in him. That is, a nice girl that wasn't also a violent maniac. Which was really strange, now that he thought about it. He should have to fight the girls wanting to date him off with a stick, seeing as he was, in his own modest opinion, a devilishly handsome and extraordinarily manly guy.

The fact that it wasn't so was really curious. No, it was more than simply curious, it was most ominous. There had to be a reason for that, and that reason could only be his father. It was the only possibility Ranma could think of. Every bad thing that had happened to him in his life could be traced back to his father in some way.

"I bet Pop managed to somehow piss off some God and got himself and me cursed."

That had to be it. His father was married to his mother, after all, and she was definitely ... eccentric. Yeah, that was the right word. She had crazy notions about what counted as manly behaviour and was totally obsessed with her strange concept of manliness.

He'd beat the answer out of his Pop when he got home, then beat him up some more just on basic principle. Besides, beating the shit out of his father was kind of therapeutic. Especially after he had gone through such a bad day.

"You are partially correct," a feminine voice said. It was deep and sensuous, the pure eroticism in that voice causing shivers to run up and down the pigtailed youth's spine.

Ranma turned towards the voice and gulped once he saw just whose voice it was.

The woman the voice belonged to was every bit as gorgeous as the voice itself. She was dressed in some kind of leather bikini that covered only the bare essentials, leaving her long luscious legs, as well as her flat toned stomach and a tantalizing amount of cleavage bare. Her hair was made up in a short style that framed her perfect face, with a seemingly endless ponytail in the back, cascading like a waterfall of black silk behind her. The most curious thing, though, were three blue diamond shaped marks in her face. One on her forehead and one on each cheek.

Ranma licked suddenly dry lips and gulped, before answering in a slightly shaky voice. "Wh- what do you mean?"

"You are indeed cursed, mon chéri," the woman answered as she walked towards him, her hips swaying hypnotically. "But I am afraid it is not the fault of your father."

Ranma stared spellbound as the perfect vision of beauty approached him, his mind totally occupied with taking in every sexy sway of her hips and the enticing way other parts of her body jiggled with every step she took. "Huh?"

The long legged beauty stopped at arms length from him. "You were wondering why only violent tomboys seemed to develop a romantic interest in you, weren't you?" At Ranma's nod, she continued, "The reason for that, mon chéri, is that you are indeed cursed. But the curse is not your father's fault"

Ranma put a lid on his raging hormones – something he had a lot of practice in doing – and asked for clarification. "Who's fault is it then?"

"There is only one person to blame: toi-même!"

"What?" Ranma exclaimed, "How can that be? I've never done anything to make some God angry with me!"

"Oui. At least not in this life."

"Whaddya mean, 'not in this life'?"

"It is quite simple really," the woman explained, "roughly four and half thousand years ago, in an earlier incarnation of your soul, you did something to terribly offend the Goddess Kuromizu."

Ranma didn't like the sound of that. "What did I do to her?"

"Tu as été horrible! She had chosen your earlier incarnation as the husband for her daughter. And you insulted her daughter by refusing to marry her and then calling her a flat-chested tomboy and other similarly horrible insults. In her wrath, Kuromizu let thousands of bricks rain down upon your past incarnation, killing you, because you told her daughter Louise that she was built like a brick."

Ranma gulped, that was certainly bad. Putting on his best innocent smile, he tried to charm his way out of this. "But that was in a past life! I'm nothing like that, I'm totally different, honest! I'd never call a girl flat chested or built like a brick!"

Peorth tsked. "You are a horrible liar, mon chéri. I am a goddess and I've been allowed to read your thoughts for the duration of this assignment. Lying to me is pointless."

"You're a goddess?"

"Excusez-moi, I forgot to introduce myself." The beautiful woman took a deep bow, incidentally giving Ranma an excellent view down her cleavage. "I am Peorth, Goddess First-class, Second Category, Unlimited."

Ranma returned her bow even deeper. "Err, I'm Ranma Saotome. Nice ta meet'cha," he replied with a nervous smile. He had just lied to a goddess who was able to read his thoughts. He just hoped she hadn't been able to read his earlier thoughts when he had first laid eyes on her. Otherwise things could get really bad for him.

"Do not fret, mon chéri," Peorth reassured him with a friendly smile, which turned seductive as she continued, "I was quite flattered by your admiration of my beauty."

Ranma rubbed the back of his head abashedly. "Ehehe."

"Now let's get to the reason why I'm here. I was sent here to assist you in lifting the curse put on you by Kuromizu four thousand and three hundred years ago."

"Huh? But I thought you were supposed to hate me?" Ranma asked. He was quite confused by this. He had insulted one of Peorth's fellow Goddesses, so the fact that she was here to help him didn't really make any sense to the martial artist.

"Non, non," Peorth shook her head. "Quite a lot of Gods and Goddesses were actually quite amused by what you did. And because we're in your debt, it was decided that I would help you in removing your curse."

"You're in my debt?"

"Oui. We are quite thankful that you took care of Saffron for us. Nobody in Asgard really wanted to dirty their hands with his latest incarnation."

"So you mean Saffron really was a God? Wow," Ranma breathed, quite awed by this revelation. "I always thought he was just really full of himself because he could throw around fireballs and regenerate."

"No, he is a God Special-class, Ninth Category, Unlimited."

Ranma's eyes widened at hearing that. "Woah. That sounds like he's really strong." His chest puffed out with pride. After all, he had managed to defeat the Phoenix God!

Peorth laughed at that, her voice sounding like thousands of bells tinkling brightly, causing butterflies to appear in Ranma's stomach. "Oh no, that's just Kami-sama being polite! Saffron is actually the weakest godling there is. Comparing Saffron to a Goddess, Third-class is like comparing a maggot to a human in terms of power. Not to mention comparing him to a Goddess, First-class, like me," she exclaimed with an arrogant sniff. "He doesn't even need limiters!".

"Oh, I see," Ranma deflated again. Not wanting to think about how pitifully weak he was compared to Peorth, he decided to change the subject. "So what are we gonna do now?"

"Now, mon chéri, I'm going to stay with you for a while. It has been decided that I shall observe how you live your life and then decide on a suitable task you have to fulfill in order to get your curse removed."

"What?! You're gonna go home with me?" Ranma said slightly panicked.

"Oui. Why? Do you have a problem with a beautiful Goddess like me accompanying you?" Peorth asked, a dangerous edge to her voice.

The pigtailed boy started sweating heavily and rapidly shook his head. "No no no! That's fine with me! Hehehe!"

"Lead the way then."

Ranma resumed his walk towards the Tendo dojo, his head hung in defeat. He just hoped Akane would grant him a quick death for bringing yet another beautiful woman home with him. And not just any beautiful woman, but a totally gorgeous Goddess!

* * *

Ranma and his divine companion rounded the last corner on their way home and stepped onto the street leading to the Tendo dojo. The pigtailed youth's injuries had mostly healed already and he had therefore discarded the stick. 

A short distance away from the Tendo home, Ranma came to a stop and turned towards Peorth. "Uh, how should I put this," he began awkwardly, one hand going to the back of his head. "Could you, you know, change your clothes or somethin'?"

"What? Why?" Peorth asked, "What's wrong with my clothes?"

Ranma blushed. "Uhm, well, you see, it's like this..." How could he explain that her clothes were way too revealing, which, coupled with her perfect looks, would inevitably lead to a beating for him? It wasn't his fault that Akane had an inferiority complex bigger than Mt. Fuji when it came to her looks. Confronting her with the half-naked, perfect beauty of a Goddess was like pouring gasoline into a fire.

Luckily, Peorth was still able to read Ranma's thoughts, thus the young man didn't have to try and explain himself to her. "Ah, I see," the Goddess said with a pleased smile. "Although I'm very proud of my body, and don't like the idea of hiding it just because some little brat might become jealous, I will do so if it saves you some trouble."

Peorth closed her eyes in concentration and a few moments later, her clothes seemed to become alive, shifting and lengthening until she was clad in a loose black dress.

"There, is this better, mon chéri?"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, Peorth!" Ranma shot the Goddess a thankful smile, quite touched by the fact that she changed her clothes to possibly spare him some trouble – as unlikely as that was – even though she didn't like it. That was something nobody had ever done for him, putting his concerns above their own selfish desires. Well, maybe Akane had done so once or twice, but it was unusual enough that it wasn't really worth getting mentioned.

"Let's go then!"

* * *

"I'm home!" Ranma called out upon entereing the Tendo home. 

"Welcome home, son," Nodoka greeted the pigtailed youth as she stepped into the hallway. She hugged her son, then drew back and smiled at him lovingly.

Her smile turned into a frown, however, when she noticed the bump on his head and the general beat up state he was in. "What happened, son? Did you get into a fight with that Chinese boy again?"

"Nah, nothin' like that," Ranma shook his head. "I was at Ukyo's place and she didn't like my opinion on somethin' she showed me and so she decided to beat me up."

Nodoka's frown deepened. "I might have to have a little talk with Ukyo, it seems. That's just no way to treat your fiancé. Even if you do tend to speak without thinking beforehand, it's still not right for her to hit you because of something so trivial."

Ranma didn't answer, he just smiled at his mother nervously and started to sweat. He did wonder how his mother could talk like that with a straight face, though. After all, she was the one who had absolutely no problem whatsoever with forcing her son to disembowel himself, if he failed to live up to her curious standards of manliness. And he recalled that she was also pretty quick to draw her katana, whenever his pop did or said something she didn't approve of.

Peorth, hearing Ranma's thoughts, couldn't help letting a very un-Goddess-like noise escape, causing Nodoka to look at her.

"Ranma, who's this? I don't think I've met this young lady before," Nodoka asked, inspecting the young woman who had up to that point completely escaped her notice.

Ranma sweated even more heavily. How could he explain to his mother that Peorth was a Goddess, who was there to help him remove a curse that had been placed on him by yet another Goddess, because he had insulted her daughter in a past life? She'd pretty likely think he was crazy, and that couldn't be very manly.

"Uhm, she's a girl I met on my way home. She doesn't have anywhere to go, so I thought that she, uh, could stay with us, you know? Because it wouldn't be right for her to camp outside. So I thought that, uhm, yeah ..." He trailed off with his ad lib explanation, unable to think of anything else he could say and also uncomfortable with lying to his mother.

Peorth took matters out of the pigtailed boy's hands then, stepping forward and bowing towards the Saotome matriarch. "Bonjour, Mrs Saotome. I am Peorth, Goddess First-class, Second Category, unlimited."

Ranma sighed, hanging his head in defeat. "Uh, yeah. Mom, meet Poerth."

Nodoka smiled at Peorth and returned the bow. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Peorth." Then she leaned towards her son, and whispered into his ear. "I'm so proud of you, my son! Not many would be willing to help a girl with problems like her."

Ranma smiled weakly at his mother. "Sure, no problem, Mom," he whispered back confusedly.

"Now, let's go inside and have some tea, shall we?" Nodoka said, ushering her son and his companion towards the living-room.

Ranma shot Peorth a questioning glance as he walked behind his mother, looking to see if she had any idea what his mother had meant with that whispered remark.

Seeing the confused expression on the Goddess' face, Ranma decided he'd worry about it later. He could already feel the beginnings of a major headache, and they hadn't even introduced Peorth to his Pop and the Tendos, yet.

* * *

When Ranma entered the living-room, he was immediately assaulted by his father. 

"Boy! Where have you been? How can you leave your fiancée at home while you go wandering around? I thought I've taught you better than that. Oh, how you shame your poor old man!"

Ranma silenced his father with a swift kick to the head. "Shut up, old man! I ain't in the mood!"

"Oh! We have a guest, how nice!" Kasumi exclaimed when she saw Peorth trailing behind Ranma.

Hearing that, Soun diverted his attention from the shogi board. "Ranma! Who's this? Have you been cheating on my little girl again?"

"What?! No! No way! You've got it all wrong!" Ranma denied quickly, waving his arms around wildly as he saw Soun's head starting to swell in the beginning stage of his Demon Head technique.

All the commotion managed to pique Nabiki's interest, who looked up from the manga she was reading and immediately spotted Peorth. "Really, Saotome," she drawled sardonically, "Bringing another girl home with you. What will Akane think about that?"

"What will I think about what?" asked Akane, who chose that moment to enter the living-room, having finished her homework only minutes ago.

The youngest Tendo's eyes fell on Peorth and she asked in a deceptively calm tone. "Ranma, who's this?" The only thing betraying the inner struggle Akane fought against the rage threatening to consume her was her furiously ticking eyebrow.

"Uh, ah, it's not what you think!" Ranma began, and immediately wanted to kick himself for saying that. Even he knew that saying that had been just about the worst thing possible. "She's a girl I met on my way home, and-"

"And you decided you'd be bring her home with you because your harem isn't big enough already as it is?" Akane finished for him. The frequency with which her eyebrow ticked increased and she began clenching and unclenching her fist spasmodically.

"Aw, c'mon, you stupid tomboy! You know it's not like that!"

Nodoka put a hand on her son's shoulder and shot him a disapproving look, silently reprimanding him and at the same time keeping him from further aggravating his fiancée. "Ranma, why don't you let your new friend introduce herself?"

Ranma's eyes widened in panic and he looked at Peorth. He hoped she wouldn't introduce herself to the rest of them like she had introduced herself to his mother. There was no telling what crazy schemes Nabiki might cook up, once she heard that Peorth was a Goddess. And he didn't even want to imagine how the fathers would try to take advantage of that fact and attempt to use her in order to force him to marry Akane.

"Merci, Mrs. Saotome." Peorth stepped forward and bowed. "I am Peorth, Goddess First-class, Second category, unlimited."

Ranma caught some movement in the corner of his eye and looked towards his left, where his mother stood.

Nodoka was drawing circles with her right index finger beside her temple while she also rolled her eyes, and suddenly Ranma knew what his mother had meant with that whispered remark earlier.

He didn't know if he should be thankful or not. On the one hand, it would certainly keep Nabiki and the fathers from attempting anything stupid in order to force Peorth to fulfil their wishes, if they believed she was just some crazy girl who believed to be a Goddess. On the other hand, he didn't know if it was a good idea to call a Goddess crazy.

Ranma watched the Tendos exchange uneasy glances, obviously not quite sure what to make of this development, which seemed to have disarmed even Akane's anger for the moment.

A tense silence stretched out after Peorth's introduction, causing the small hairs on Ranma's neck to rise, before it was suddenly pierced by a loud cry of utter delight.

"HOTCHA! Come to poppa, babe!"

"Gaah! Get it off, get if off!" Peorth cried out, then she began to frantically hammer her fists down on the skull of the small gnome that had attached himself to her chest.

Ranma growled. "Oh no you don't, you old freak!" He grabbed Happosai by the scruff of his neck, removing him from Peorth's breasts, before he smashed the old grandmaster through the floorboards of the living-room.

Soun suddenly appeared over the hole his master had left in the floor, stomping on Happosai's unmoving body frantically. "Quick, Saotome. Now's our chance to get rid of the master for good!"

Genma appeared by Soun's side and joined his best friend. "Quite right, Tendo."

After a few moments of this, they stuffed Happosai into a small crate, which they then sealed with several metres length of heavy chain. Genma then grabbed the crate and ran out of the house.

Ignoring the sounds of violence behind him, the pigtailed young man turned towards the Goddess and shot her an apologetic look. "Sorry about that. Are you all right?"

Ranma couldn't believe what was happening. First, his mother had pretty much told everyone present that Peorth was missing a few cards in her deck, then Happosai had gone and groped the Goddess! At the rate things were going, he'd never get a chance to remove Kuromizu's curse and he'd be forever doomed to be chased by violent chicks.

Peorth composed herself, smoothing the wrinkles out of her dress. "Oui. I'm fine."

"Oh my," said Kasumi. "I'm awfully sorry for that, Mrs Peorth. Grandfather Happosai can be a little overzealous at times."

"Don't worry, it's all right, really. And it's Miss Peorth. I'm not married."

Kasumi released a huge sigh in what sounded like relief at hearing that, and everybody present shot her a curious look.

"Are ya really sure you're all right, Peorth?" Ranma asked the Goddess. "The old freak didn't hurt ya or nothin'? Cause if he did, then I'm gonna..."

Hearing a loud grinding noise coming from behind him, coupled with a wave of intense heat washing over him, Ranma turned around, a sense of dread forming in his gut. The feeling only intensified when he saw the source of both the noise and the heat.

"Rrrrrrranmaaaaa," Akane growled out between gritted teeth. A red aura had sprung up around her and was now outlining her body in a wavering corona of crimson light.

Before the youngest Tendo had a chance to give in to her anger and beat her fiancé to a pulp for fretting over some new hussy, Nodoka spoke up, derailing the imminent violence.

"My, that was certainly unpleasant," The Saotome matriarch said. Then, clapping her hands and smiling happily, she continued, "My son offered this young lady a place to stay, since she has nowhere to go. Isn't that nice of him?"

Nabiki snorted. "Yeah, really nice. As if we don't have enough nut cases living with us already," she mumbled quiely.

"Nabiki! That's not nice!" Kasumi admonished her sister, who simply shrugged indifferently. "I think it's wonderful!"

"Isn't it?" Nodoka asked, "I think it was a really considerate and manly thing to do." She turned towards her son and beamed at him proudly.

"How can you say that, Auntie?!" Akane demanded, "He already has enough girls he's stringing along without adding another one to his harem!"

Nodoka's smile disappeared as she turned towards the youngest Tendo. "Now, Akane. Normally I'd agree with you. It wouldn't be a very manly thing to do, if my son charmed another beautiful young lady when he already has two fiancées and two other girls that are willing to marry him, just because he can. But you have to see that Peorth is a special case." Her voice took on a rather dramatic quality. "A beautiful young woman, far away from home, with nowhere to go and with her kind of problems. Can't you just imagine what other people might do to her?"

Akane lost much of her steam in the face of Nodoka's dramatic speech and she shamefully lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Auntie. You're right."

Nabiki shrugged. "Whatever. Where's she going to sleep anyway? It's not like we have any more unoccupied rooms."

"Oh, don't be silly, Nabiki," Kasumi said, "With grandfather Happosai gone on vacation, Peorth can sleep in his room until he comes back."

Ranma's eyes widened in panic. "What?! Are you crazy? There's no way I'll let Peorth sleep in the old letch's room!"

Nabiki smirked at the pigtailed youth, one eyebrow raised inquisitively. "Oh? And where would you propose she stays then? I'm sure as hell not going to share my room with anybody and Kasumi's room is too small. That only leaves Akane's room and the dojo."

"She can stay in the dojo with me!" Ranma said decisively. There was really no other option in the pigtailed youth's mind. Nobody should have to sleep in Happosai's room and having Peorth stay with him was preferable over having her stay with Akane. He didn't even want to imagine the kind of exaggerated horror stories his fiancée would tell the Goddess about him.

"It's decided then," Nodoka exclaimed. "Peorth will stay with Ranma in the dojo." Turning towards her son, she shot him a serious look. "I'm sure you'll be on your best behaviour, won't you, son?"

Ranma nodded rapidly. "Of course, mom!"

The Saotome matriarch smiled happily. "Good. Why don't you show our newest guest to the dojo then?"

"Sure thing, mom! Follow me, Peorth."

Peorth bowed towards the Tendos once more. "Thank you all for your hospitality." Then she hurried to catch up with Ranma.

* * *

"Well, here we are," Ranma said, once they had entered the dojo. He flipped a switch and the dojo was flooded with light. "I know it's not much, but at least it's better than sleeping on the street." 

"Oh, mon Dieu!" Peorth gasped as she saw what state the dojo was in. "They force you to sleep in here?"

"Aw, it's not that bad," Ranma replied. Sure, the roof had holes of varying sizes in it and chunks of the walls were missing here and there, all thanks to the bombed wedding several days ago, but it was still better than sleeping on the streets or having to share a room with his parents.

It had been bad enough when he had been forced to sleep in the same room as his father, who snored loudly enough to make jack-hammers green with envy. Now, though, with his mother also staying in the same room, the noise-level occasionally rose to completely new heights and took on a completely different, disturbing – to anyone living in the Tendo home – quality.

No, sir, Ranma was of the opinion that sleeping in the dojo, even if it was rather run-down at the moment, was preferable to sharing a room, or even a building, with his parents. At least until his parents' enthusiasm over being reunited was exhausted, which nobody could see happening any time in the immediate future.

The cursed youth walked towards the far wall of the dojo, where his futon was located right under a medium sized hole in the roof. "It was a little draughty at first, but after a few nights in here, you won't even notice the wind anymore. And when it's raining at night, I just move my futon over to that corner, where the roof is still intact," he said, pointing towards the north-east corner of the building.

Peorth followed the young man, taking in the devastated state of her new accommodation with a frown. "I'm still of the opinion that nobody should sleep in a building with holes big enough to walk through in it."

"It's really not that bad," Ranma said, fearing the Goddess would decide she'd rather stay with Akane. "It actually has some advantages."

"Oh? Like what?"

"Well, you see that hole up there?" Ranma asked, pointing towards the roof above his futon. "I moved my stuff here because I can look at the stars through it at night. I couldn't do that if the hole wasn't there." Okay, that sounded lame even to him, but it was the best think he could come up with.

"What if it starts raining after you've fallen asleep?"

"Err, well, I guess I'll get wet then," Ranma said. He honestly hadn't thought of that and it also hadn't happened to him yet.

After wracking his brain for several more moments, Ranma was still unable to think of anything else he could pass off as positive and finally hung his head in defeat. "All right, I guess I could look for some tools and boards to patch up the biggest holes in here. Or you can sleep with Akane, you really shouldn't have to stay in such a run-down building."

Ranma guessed he should have expected something like that. It was kind of insensitive of him to expect Peorth to stay in a building that resembled Swiss cheese more closely than a dojo. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to sleep at night anyway, knowing that he had forced a girl to sleep practically without a roof over her head. At least Peorth would be dry and warm, if she stayed with Akane.

"That won't be necessary, chéri," Peorth said. "I can take care of this."

Ranma blinked and looked at the Goddess curiously. "Huh? How?"

"I'm a Goddess, silly! Or have you already forgotten that?"

Ranma smiled sheepishly. "Heh, sorry."

Shaking her head, Peorth walked to the middle of the dojo where spread her arms. "Come forth, Gorgeous Rose!"

A bright light suddenly sprang up around the Goddess, illuminating the dojo in a warm golden-white glow. Ranma moved to shield his eyes, but stopped as he noticed that it didn't hurt to look at the light, despite its brightness. Instead, he was filled with a feeling of utter comfort. Something he couldn't remember ever having experienced.

The light dimmed out after several moments, and Ranma saw another girl floating behind Peorth. She was blonde and rather petite, with a beautiful face. Green twines with thick thorns on them were wrapped around the girl, covering her naughty bits. The most remarkable thing, however, were the big, white, feathery wings that stretched out from the girl's back.

"An angel," Ranma breathed in awe.

"En effet," Peorth said. "This is my angel, Gorgeous Rose." Turning her head, she smiled at Gorgeous Rose. "Let's get to work, shall we?"

Both Peorth and her angel closed their eyes, then they began to sing.

Their voices filled the dojo with a beautiful tune as they sang in the native language of the Gods, the notes flowing together rhythmically, forming the most incredible and breathtaking song Ranma had ever heard.

Overwhelmed by the heavenly melody, the pigtailed boy slowly sank into a sitting position, closing his eyes to better be able to appreciate the marvellous song.

Thus he completely missed the effect of Peorth's tune. The holes in the walls and roof of the dojo were slowly closed, until the building was once again whole and in pristine condition. Even the wooden floorboards began shining as if they had been freshly laid and polished.

Too soon for Ranma's liking, the song ended and the young man opened his eyes.

"Wow!" Ranma exclaimed, taking in the sight of the repaired dojo. "Did you do this? And you even put a window in the hole above my futon!"

Peorth nodded. "Oui. Repairing a simple building is no problem for a First-class Goddess like me."

"I bet," Ranma mumbled absently, still totally overwhelmed by Peorth's beautiful song and its effect. Then another thought occurred to him and his face took on an expression of dread. "Oh no! This is terrible! Can you undo this?"

"What? Why should I undo our magnificent work?" Peorth demanded. "Isn't it good enough for you?"

Ranma frantically waved his hands. "No! Nothin' like that! It's just that, when the others see this, they'll know you're a Goddess!"

"So?" Peorth asked, both fists planted firmly on her hips.

"You don't understand! You have no idea what they might do once they find out!"

Gorgeous Rose giggled and Peorth nodded. "All right, I guess I understand your concerns."

Both closed their eyes and once again began to sing. Slowly, the dojo was restored to its former, devastated condition.

Ranma sighed in relief. "Thank you. Now I guess you'll want to stay with Akane." He didn't sound very happy about it.

Peorth shook her head. "Non. I saw no reason to undo our perfect work, so I simply cast an illusion spell."

"Really? That's great!" Ranma exclaimed happily.

Gorgeous Rose giggled, and Peorth inclined her head slightly. "You're right. And yes, you can go back now."

The Goddess was shortly surrounded by bright light again, and after it had died down, her angel was gone.

"What did she say?" Ranma asked.

"Oh, nothing important really. She just said that you're kind of cute when you're panicking."

"What?! I never panic!"

Peorth shrugged. "If you say so, chéri." Then she shot the pigtailed youth a seductive look. "It's getting late, shall we go to bed?"

Ranma gulped, he knew where this was going. "Uh, you mean, like, together?"

Peorth walked towards the young man, her hips swaying hypnotically and the seductive look never leaving her face. "Of course, silly. What else could I mean?"

Ranma took a step backward for every step Peorth took forward, until his back hit a wall. Then he started sweating heavily. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, actually."

Peorth didn't let the pigtailed boy's protests deter her, and she swiftly closed the remaining distance between them. Once she was in reach, she lifted her right hand and traced Ranma's jawbone with her index finger suggestively. "Why not, chéri?" she purred.

By now, Ranma was trembling slightly. His traitorous body wanted very much to give in to the Goddess' offer, but Ranma knew it would be wrong. He was still engaged, had almost gotten married a few days ago. It simply didn't seem right. The sight of the beautiful Goddess before him fought with the image of a devastated Akane, after she had found out that Ranma had cheated on her with Peorth. That was something he really didn't want. Besides, he had promised his mother he'd be on his best behaviour!

Peorth finally lowered her hand and turned away. "Oh, well. Your loss, chéri." She walked towards the only futon in the dojo, her clothes morving into a set of comfortable looking sleep wear along the way. Crawling inside the futon, she called out, "Sleep well!"

"Hey! That's the only futon! Where am I supposed to sleep?"

Peorth simply shrugged her shoulders, and turned her back towards the pigtailed youth.

Ranma sighed dejectedly and lay down on the floor. He was sure he had made the right decision, even if his back would hurt like hell tomorrow. But an aching back was preferable over an aching conscience in Ranma's opinion.

------------

There you have it, hope you had at least a little fun.


	3. A bad way to start your day

Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story belong to their respectful owners.

Edit: I cut back on Peorth's French.

* * *

Ranma slowly re-entered the waking world, feeling warm and comfortable. He was covered by a nice, thick blanket and his head was resting on a pair of very cushy pillows. Pillows that inflated and deflated almost in sync with Ranma's breathing. 

The pigtailed boy let out a contented sigh, then breathed in deeply, snuggling deeper into his pillows as he enjoyed the exquisite smell of flowers that filled his nostrils.

He raised his left hand to scratch an itch below his ear, then let it fall back down unto the left pillow. Feeling a little nub in the palm of his hand that slowly began to stiffen, Ranma gave his pillow a few curious squeezes, causing the nub to swell and stiffen even further.

All those facts, the inflating and deflating pillows, the flowery scent and the two nubs – he could now feel another nub that had started to swell right under his right cheek -, slowly registered in the young man's brain, and he came to the conclusion that Shampoo must have snuck into his bed at night again.

He couldn't really fault his amazon suitor for doing this. After all, for her, he had to be the perfect husband. He was practically the personification of everything the amazon society valued. He was a supremely skilled martial artist, incredibly good looking, extraordinarily intelligent, extremely witty, and he never let an obstacle stop him from achieving his goals. Plus, he could turn into a woman by a simple application of cold water. Considering that the amazon society was a matriarchal one, that couldn't really be a bad thing.

Now if only Shampoo had the sense not to stick around until Akane arrived, it would certainly save him a lot of grief. He didn't mind the purple haired girl's visits, quite the opposite really. In fact, he rather enjoyed them, seeing as he somehow always slept better when he was snuggling with the amazon. For one thing, it kept his nightmares at bay, and for another, he was a teenage guy and having a gorgeous young woman wrapped around him felt damn good. It felt so good actually, that, after Shampoo had snuck into his bed the first time and Akane had discovered them the next morning, which had led to a severe beating and had gotten him the cold shoulder treatment for three whole days, Ranma had decided he wouldn't even bother asking Shampoo to stop doing it.

Ranma took in another deep breath and snuggled a little closer into the comforting softness of the abundant bosom. He figured it was inevitable that Akane would discover him seemingly cheating on her, and experience had shown him that trying frantically to get Shampoo to leave his room before somebody noticed her presence was futile, so he decided to simply enjoy his pleasurable position as long as he was able to.

When he was finally discovered, it was not by his uncute fiancée screaming angrily, but by another influential female in Ranma's life who spoke in a very stern voice.

"Son, I am very disappointed in you. You promised me you would be on your best behaviour."

Ranma's eyes widened in panic. "Oh shit!" He raised himself on his elbows and looked down into a pair of smoky dark brown eyes that certainly didn't belong to Shampoo.

That was when he remembered the events of the previous day, though he didn't really know how he had ended up sleeping in the same futon as the Goddess. He was pretty sure he had gone to sleep on the floor.

Ranma decided not to dwell on such unimportant matters and quickly scrambled away, taking the blanket with him in the process and revealing that Peorth's top had somehow been bunched up, exhibiting the Goddess' flat toned stomach and the swell of her breasts.

Ranma shot his mother a pleading look. "It's not what it looks like, honest!"

Nodoka crossed her arms in front of her chest and began tapping her foot. "Oh really? So you were not spending the night in the same bed as a beautiful young woman, although you promised me you wouldn't do such a thing?"

"Of course I wasn't!" Ranma denied vehemently. "I went to sleep over there, on the floor, since Peorth had claimed the only futon in here for herself. And then I somehow woke up lying on top of her, this morning, but I have no idea how I ended up there!"

"Ranma," Nodoka began, a dangerous edge to her voice which told her son that her patience was running out, "It is not nice to lie to your mother."

Ranma hung his head dejectedly, but then had an idea that was just crazy enough that it might manage to get him out of this. "All right, mum. You're right, that's not what happened. The truth is that I woke up this morning while Peorth was still asleep and I got kind of curious what kind of underwear she's wearing, so I decided to find out while she was still sleeping. And that's when you came in."

Nodoka's stern expression vanished and was replaced with a serene smile. "Oh, that's all right then!" She turned to walk back towards the Tendo house, but stopped before she left the dojo. "I just came to tell you that breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Don't keep us waiting!"

Ranma watched his mother leave, still not able to comprehend that she had believed his perverted lie over the actual truth.

"You know, chéri," Peorth spoke up, and Ranma turned his gaze away from the dojo entrance to look at her, noticing with some disappointment that her clothing was in perfect order again and covering what it was intended to cover. "Your mother is a very ... peculiar person."

Ranma snorted. "That's putting it nicely. She's totally crazy, almost as crazy as the Kunos, but what can I do?" He shrugged helplessly. "She's my mum, the only one I've got." He just wished she would act more like mothers were supposed to act towards their children and less like a nut case eager to see her only child skewer himself. Sure, his mother had declared him manly and his pledge to become a man among men fulfilled – not like he had ever thought otherwise, he had always been sure he was as manly a man as anyone could ever hope to be and had never been the slightest bit afraid his mother wouldn't agree with his opinion and force him to actually commit seppuku, not Ranma Saotome, nuh-uh, no way -, but she didn't treat him like he was her son. Sure, she was nice and polite and always eager to listen to him and help where she could, but it was more like he was the son of a good friend, not her own. Heck, she treated the Tendo daughters as well as his other suitors exactly the same way. The only real difference with them was that they weren't faced with disappointed looks or a sharp scolding when they weren't acting manly enough for her.

"If you really want to know," Peorth said, distracting Ranma from his rather depressing thoughts, "I'm not wearing any."

Ranma shot the Goddess a blank look. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Underwear, you silly!" Peorth giggled. She gripped the hem of her top and slowly began to pull it upwards. "Would you like to see?"

"Uh, no, that's all right, really," He reassured her quickly. "I believe you."

Peorth crossed her arms under her chest and pouted cutely, pushing her breasts up and causing her shirt to stretch over them tightly, her nipples almost poking holes though the flimsy material of her pyjama top. "Oh, you're no fun."

Ranma swallowed heavily, his mouth suddenly extremely dry. "We'd better go and join the others for breakfast."

Peorth nodded. "You're right, chéri." She stretched like a cat and moaned in satisfaction as her muscles loosened up.

Ranma quickly averted his gaze as a fierce blush spread across his cheeks and berated himself for getting so affected by the Goddess' charms. Why did she have this effect on him? He had beautiful girls literally throwing themselves at him left and right, but none of them caused him as much trouble as this gorgeous brunette. He had always prided himself on his superb self-control and he was sure that a lesser man would long have surrendered to his urges were he in his position. But whenever Peorth put on the charm just a little bit, consciously or not, all his self control seemed to be flying out the window, and it was all he could do not to start drooling over this woman that practically oozed eroticism and sensuality.

"I'm ready, chéri, let's go."

Ranma shook himself and turned around again, noticing with some disappointment that Peorth was now wearing the same clothes as the day before. "Okay then."

As they were walking towards the dining room, another thought struck Ranma, and he cursed the fact that he no longer had the dojo to himself. How was he going to take care of his 'urges' now? That had been one of the few advantages of living on his own in a building that was ready to collapse any minute: Privacy. Before he had been consigned to the dojo, he had practically never had any and he had been forced to deal with his hormones whenever the opportunity had presented itself, always in fear of one of the Tendos or his father bursting in on him, which had only made it harder to find relief when he had already been under a lot of pressure to finish quickly and silently. Living in the dojo on his own had permitted him to take his time, and he had found himself a lot more relaxed as a consequence. And now he once again had a room mate. The pigtailed teen could already feel the level of his frustration rising.

Peorth surreptitiously glanced at her companion out of the corner of her eye and was not quite able to suppress her smile of satisfaction. When they arrived in the dining room after their short walk, she was in a very good mood.

* * *

"Oh! Good morning, Ranma. You're up early," Kasumi said as Ranma and Peorth entered the dining room. "I'm afraid breakfast won't be ready for another thirty minutes." 

"Huh? But mum told me to hurry up because everybody was waiting for me."

"Yes, I did, Ranma," came Nodoka's voice from the kitchen. A few seconds later she stuck her head through the doorway. "I know how much trouble you have with getting up in the morning and thought it'd be easier for you if you had a little incentive. And breakfast was the thing I knew would do the trick. After all, I know how much you love food."

Ranma blushed. "Aww, mum, I'm not that bad!" Though silently he had to agree with his mother. Sleeping alone in the dojo had allowed him to develop the habit of sleeping in.

"Of course you're not," Nodoka said agreeably, smiling at her son. "The bathroom should be free, why don't you go and wash up?"

"But what about Peorth?"

"What about her?" Nodoka asked, her gaze becoming stern. "While I'm happy to see that you're a manly man, I don't think it would be proper for you to bathe together with her. You're engaged to be married to Akane, you shouldn't even be thinking of things like that!"

"I wasn't thinking that!" Ranma protested quickly, then cursed mentally as his mother's words caused naughty thoughts of him and the Goddess sharing a bath to well up in his head. He quickly shook off those mental pictures of him and Peorth washing each other. "But what should she do? I'm the only one who's spent some time with her, she might feel awkward without me around."

"I'll be fine, chéri," Peorth said. "You go and take your bath, you could use one." The Goddess wrinkled her nose for emphasis.

"There you have it, son. And while you're gone, maybe Peorth would like to help me prepare breakfast?" Nodoka looked at the brunette questioningly.

Peorth nodded. "I'd love to make myself useful!"

The copper-haired woman turned back towards her son. "You see, Peorth will be fine. Now, go and do as your mother says, or the bathroom will be occupied and you would have gotten up earlier than normal for nothing."

"All right, mum."

* * *

"Oh man, how do I get into these messes all the time?" Ranma mumbled to himself as he sat inside the furo, observing wisps of steam rising up to the ceiling where they condensed into little beads of water. "Peorth is a Goddess! And she has to hang around with me. What do I do? Ukyo and Shampoo are gonna freak when they see her." He let himself sink deeper into the water, blowing out a frustrated breath, causing the water to form bubbles. "At least she's cute." 

Pictures of Peorth in her revealing clothes adopting different sensual poses appeared before Ranma's eyes, and he felt a familiar stirring in his loins.

"I better get out," he decided.

He had just gotten up, one foot resting on the edge of the furo, as the door opened and a sleepy - and very naked - Nabiki walked in, thick bags under her eyes and her hair in complete disarray.

"G'morning Ramma," she mumbled, then she sat down on a stool and filled a bucket with cold water.

Ranma stood frozen in place, his mouth gaping open, unable to do anything but watch as the mercenary girl proceeded to dump the cold water over her head.

"Brrrr, that's cold," said Nabiki.

Still rooted to the spot, Ranma was trying to wrap his mind around his current situation.

He was in the furo. Naked. Nabiki was also in the furo. And she was also naked. Plus she was now very wet, her supple flesh glistening alluringly in the artificial light with beads of water running down her generous curves.

Little Ranma, already slightly engorged due to the stupefied martial artist's earlier daydreams, now rose to full mast as the young man's traitorous mind started imagining how it would be to change places with one of the water droplets.

"Wait a minute," Nabiki said suddenly, turning her head slowly in Ranma's direction.

The pigtailed boy cringed slightly and prepared himself for the inevitable beating, but nothing of the sort happened. After several moments of tense anticipation, he cautiously opened first his right eye, then his left.

"My my, Ranma," the brunette said dryly as she gave the young man a thorough once-over. "I can see how Akane would have been intimidated by you. But I definitely have to disagree with the 'boy' label. I'd say 'stud' would be more fitting."

"Uh, err, wah?" Ranma replied dumbly.

"Did I interrupt something or is that all for me?" Nabiki asked, looking pointedly between the martial artist's legs, licking her lips unconsciously.

Ranma continued gaping at the Tendo girl, until his jumbled mind cleared up enough to tell him that he was currently in a situation he did NOT want to be found in. "I, uh, I have to go!" he said, dashing out of the furo and hastily fleeing the bathroom.

Nabiki looked after the fleeing martial artist with a pout on her face. "Aw, there goes my morning peep show. Mmm, his backside is nice, too. Maybe I should sell more pictures of his boy form." Nabiki nodded to herself. "Yeah, that should work. The market for pictures of his girl form is getting saturated anyway."

* * *

"How long till breakfast is ready?" Ranma asked as he re-entered the Tendo dining room. 

"Oh my, Ranma. That was quick. You usually take your time in the bathroom when you don't have to hurry." Kasumi said, looking at the pigtailed martial artist curiously. "And you're walking kind of funny, did something happen to you?"

"No, nothing happened!" Ranma assured the Tendo home maker quickly. "Why should something have happened to me? I only took a bath. There's nothing that could have happened. Certainly not. Hehehe."

"If you say so, Ranma." Kasumi turned back to her tea, sipping the hot brew delicately. "Breakfast should be ready any minute now."

"Okay. Thanks, Kasumi." Ranma went to his seat and sat down, an action that was made more complicated by his not-so-little Nabiki-induced problem.

"Are you really sure that everything's all right with you, Ranma?" Kasumi asked again, her tea cup still held in front of her mouth. "You're kind of ... stiff, today."

Ranma thought that Kasumi sounded like she was smiling, but couldn't see if his assumption was true or not. Looking at her eyes didn't give him any clues either, and he disregarded it as his imagination.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry, Kasumi. Maybe I slept in a bad position or something."

"That must be it, then," the oldest Tendo daughter agreed, and this time Ranma was sure he saw her eyes twinkling a little.

The martial artist buried his head in his hands in despair. This day had already started pretty badly, what with him getting caught by his mother with his hands on Peorth's breasts and the thing with Nabiki in the furo, and now it seemed like even Kasumi was trying to give him a hard time.

Realizing the bad pun, Ranma groaned as it brought back to mind images of the mercenary Tendo in all her naked glory. He just hoped Akane never found out about that, or she'd be sure to bash his head in.

Akane entered the dining room, dressed in her school uniform, and stopped as she saw her fiancé. "What's that idiot's problem?"

Kasumi simply shrugged in response and continued sipping her tea.

Nabiki walked in behind her younger sister, also ready for school. She had a smile on her face and was even humming a cheerful little tune. "Good morning, everyone!"

Akane turned towards her sister, her eyes narrowed. "What's with the good mood at this time of the morning, Nabiki? You normally need at least two cups of coffee until you're able to talk. You're not planning anything, are you?"

Nabiki put on her best innocent face. "Moi? I'm always planning something. You should know that, little sister."

Akane seemed to accept that explanation, and turned to more important matters. "Do you know what's up with Ranma, today?"

The money-hungry girl chuckled quietly. "Oh, I think I know what's 'up' with Ranma, all right," she murmured to herself.

"Huh? Could you talk a little louder, Nabiki, I didn't understand a word of what you just said."

Nabiki shrugged. "How should I know? Maybe he had a 'hard' night? What with having to share the dojo with a beautiful girl and all that."

Kasumi suppressed a giggle, while Akane growled, but kept quiet and sat down at her usual place. She kept an eye on her fiancé, though.

Ranma didn't hear a word the two youngest Tendo sisters said, still too busy trying to wrap his mind around the incidents of the young day. The encounter in the furo just minutes ago seemed especially surreal to him, and he found his thoughts heading off on odd tangents.

He never would have taken Nabiki to be the kind of girl who shaved herself completely bald down there, but found it did look oddly appealing. He knew that Akane also shaved herself, but she left a small strip of hair standing. Then his thoughts wandered towards the other girls he knew: Shampoo, it seemed, didn't think much of shaving herself there. But what about Ukyo? The Okonomiyaki chef was a very neat and tidy girl, maybe she shaved, too? He also wondered whether Kasumi and Peorth shaved or not.

Nabiki ignored the interactions – or rather, the lack thereof - between Akane and Ranma, and turned towards her older sister. "Do you know where Daddy and Uncle Saotome are? They're usually the first ones at the breakfast table."

"They're still asleep," Kasumi replied. "They went out to celebrate after Uncle Genma returned home, yesterday, and came back very late in the night."

"That's right," Akane chimed in. "They got rid of the old pervert, yesterday. I only hope that Uncle Genma used enough postage this time."

"Don't worry, Akane," Kasumi smiled at her sister reassuringly. "I'm sure Grandfather Happosai will be fine."

"I'm not worried about that perverted old man! He could end up at the South Pole and get eaten by polar bears, for all I care!"

Kasumi looked at her sister aghast. "Akane! That's not very nice. You shouldn't say things like that, they might become true."

The youngest Tendo harrumphed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Hah! I wish," she muttered.

"It's also impossible," Nabiki added. "Polar bears live at the North Pole. You'd know that, if you paid more attention at school, little sister."

Akane stuck out her tongue at the mercenary girl in response, and a comfortable silence stretched out as everybody at the dining table became engrossed in their own thoughts. Some of them purer than others.

A few minutes later, Nodoka walked in, carrying a tray with miso soup, fish and pickled vegetables. She was followed closely by Peorth, the Goddess bearing the rice.

"Breakfast is ready!" They announced as they set the food on the table.

That managed to bring Ranma out of his day dreams and he sat up straight in his seat. "All right, I'm starving!"

The Saotome matriarch smiled at her son. "I'm sorry it took a little longer than usual, but while Peorth helped me in the kitchen, she told me a little about the meals she likes to cook, and we spent more time talking about recipes than preparing breakfast."

Ranma's eyes wandered from his mother to the Goddess, and he couldn't quite keep himself from blushing as he recalled his speculations about the gorgeous brunette's trimming habits. "Don't worry about it, mum. We still have plenty of time until school starts." He quickly snatched some fish from the tray and stuffed it in his mouth in order to distract himself from his dirty thoughts.

"Ranma, stop that! You can wait until everybody has their food!" Nodoka scolded her son.

The Saotome matriarch and Peorth started serving everyone their breakfast, Peorth ending up with her mouth close to Ranma's ear as she bent over the table to put a bowl in front of the young man. "Why don't you find out for yourself," she whispered seductively.

Ranma went beet red and started flailing his arms in panic as he choked on the fish, his face quickly turning blue as his oxygen supply was cut off.

"Oh my god! Ranma, are you all right?" Akane asked her fiancé anxiously. When he shook his head frantically in response, her panic grew and she started slapping him on the back with increasing strength, until she sent him face first into the dining table with a particularly hard hit, upon which the pigtailed martial artist lost consciousness. "Oh no! He's going to die!" she cried, tears welling up in her eyes.

Peorth jumped over the table and shoved Akane out of the way. "Get away! I'll take care of this!"

The Goddess grabbed Ranma from behind, her arms reaching around him with her hands coming together at the bottom of the pigtailed boy's diaphragm, and executed a Heimlich Maneuver, expelling the piece of fish from Ranma's trachea. Then she laid the young man flat on the ground and sealed her lips over his as she proceeded to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Ranma slowly re-entered the waking world, his senses fuzzy. He could hear frantic voices, but they were kind of jumbled and he wasn't able to make out any words. His head was pounding as if he had a battalion of gnomes inside it, and his back was throbbing angrily in pain.

It took the pigtailed young man a few seconds to register the pair of lips that was pressed against his own, and Ranma thought absent-mindedly how soft they felt and that they somehow tasted like roses.

When he felt a tongue slip inside his mouth, roaming over his teeth and starting to massage his own tongue, his eyes snapped wide open in surprise, and he started waving his arms around wildly.

"Hey! He's awake again, you can stop now!" Akane told the Goddess currently trying to force her tongue down her fiancé's throat. "I said cut it out!" She repeated when Peorth didn't show any signs of stopping. "That's _my_ fiancé you're molesting!"

Just as Akane was about to forcefully remove the Goddess from her fiancé, Peorth finally let go off Ranma and stood up again. "Don't worry, I was just making sure everything was still in working order," she said, shooting the youngest Tendo a bright smile.

Akane ignored the Goddess and knelt down next to her fiancé. "Are you all right, Ranma?" she asked him in a voice filled with worry, her question being repeated by everybody else.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ranma told his family. He gently pushed his fiancée away and sat up again. "I'm sorry for worrying you." He shot everybody present an apologetic smile, during which his eyes came to rest on a clock on the wall. "Oh no! We have to hurry or we'll be late!" He exclaimed, then he began shovelling food into his mouth at a rapid pace.

"That's Ranma for you," Nabiki said. "Even a near death experience isn't enough to make him lose his appetite."

The mercenary girl's joke managed to break through the tension, and everyone shared a good laugh. After that, breakfast proceeded without any incidents.

* * *

It was a pretty nice day in Ranma's opinion. The sky was clear with only a few fluffy white clouds decorating the blue expanse, the sun was shining brightly, and it was pleasantly warm. Too bad he wasn't able to enjoy the nice day, as the Goddess Peorth had insisted on accompanying him to school and was currently walking with him and his fiancée as they made their way towards Furinkan High School, which resulted in a very bad-tempered Akane. 

Not that a bad-tempered Akane was unusual or particularly bad - Ranma estimated that she spent about a third of her whole day being angry, causing him to wonder if she had a secret anger fetish -, but the fact that she hadn't blown up and sent him on a trip across Nerima via her legendary gorilla strength was a reason for concern for the pigtailed young man.

Thinking back on his stay at the Tendo dojo, Ranma found out that Akane usually reacted in particular ways to particular happenings in his life. When he lost a fight, she would make fun of him; when he won a fight, she would tell everybody that it was no big deal and that he had simply gotten lucky; when he spent some time with his other fiancées, she would get mad and yell at him for being a womanising jerk; and when a new fiancée or a girl with a seeming romantic interest in him showed up, she would also yell at him for being a womanising jerk, then she would take it one step further and beat him up. More often than not, Ranma wasn't able to keep his mouth shut and he received a fist to the face, although he could have gotten off with just an angry tirade.

The martial artist made a mental note that he would have to learn not to react to Akane's insults in kind, it would spare him a lot of pain.

The problem now was that Akane hadn't reacted in one of her usual ways to Peorth showing up and staying at the Tendo home. Sure, his fiancée had been angry at first, but that anger had seemingly dissipated quickly, and she had spent the rest of the time holed up in her room, which Ranma knew from personal experience she did only when she was either angry or sulking. He mused she could have been sulking because yet another girl with a better figure than her had shown up, but didn't think this was the real reason for her chosen isolation. That only left anger as the reason.

Ranma now found himself faced with the dilemma of what to do about Akane's bad mood. He could either tease her about something until she blew up, or he could wait until she reached the end of her rope and blew up on her own, or he could do nothing and hope she forgot about everything - which was the best option in Ranma's opinion.

Having reached a satisfying conclusion on the problem of his fiancées mood for now, Ranma turned his attention to another thing that had been bothering him since this morning.

Grabbing Peorth's elbow, he slowed down in his walk to gain a little more distance from his fiancée.

"There's something I've been wondering about," he whispered to the Goddess.

Peorth turned towards the martial artist with a seductive smile on her lips. "I already told you I would not reveal my preferences on that particular topic, chéri. If you really want to know, you'll just have to find out for yourself," she answered, grabbing Ranma's hand and directing it below the hemline of her skirt.

"What?! No!" Ranma replied hurriedly, pulling his hand away. "I'm not talking about that! I wanted to know how I ended up sharing a futon with you."

"Oh that," Peorth whispered with a shrug of her delicate shoulders. "I got so aroused by having you sleeping not three metres away from me, I decided to have my wicked way with you. Then I erased your memory."

Ranma stopped dead in his tracks, upon hearing that, all colour draining from his face. Here he had fought a valiant fight with his libido, the night before, and it had all been for nothing! He had made the choice of sleeping on the floor because he didn't want to betray his fiancée, and now he found out that he had ended up doing it anyway. And worst of all, he had finally gotten laid with a hot girl and he couldn't remember a damn thing about it!

"You should see your face, chéri!" Peorth said, pointing at the dumbfounded martial artist and giggling almost hysterically.

The Goddess' reaction was enough to jerk Ranma out of his stupefied state of mind and to turn his disbelief into anger. "What the hell are you laughing about!?" He hissed. "This is no laughing matter! How could you do something like that?!"

Ranma asked himself whether all Goddesses were this cruel. One of them had cursed him to be chased by violent tomboy chicks and to never find happiness, now another Goddess had taken his virginity, then erased his memory of the event. He didn't know which was worse and seriously considered becoming an atheist by that point.

Peorth fought hard to get her laughter back under control, but didn't really succeed."Ca- calm down, chéri," she ground out between giggles. "I was merely joking. I- I did nothing of the sort." By now she had almost managed to get a grip on her laughter. "I woke up some time during the night and saw you lying on the floor, shivering in the cold," she continued, wiping a few tears from her eyes. "So I took pity on you and decided to share my futon with you."

"Oh," Ranma answered lamely. He didn't know if he should be glad or disappointed. On the one hand, he hadn't betrayed his fiancée, after all. On the other, he hadn't gotten laid with a hot chick.

"If you really want to," Peorth whispered seductively, sidling up close to her pigtailed assignment. "We could have some fun, tonight."

Ranma leaned away from the Goddess, being uncomfortable with the way she had started to nibble on his earlobe. "Aaah, no. That's all right."

"Your loss, chéri," Peorth replied with a shrug.

"What the heck are you two doing!" Akane screamed back from further down the street, having finally noticed that her two companions were hanging back a fair distance. "Stop flirting with your newest floozy and hurry up, Ranma, or we're going to be late for school!"

"All right, Akane!"

Ranma and Peorth started jogging to catch up to Akane, then all three proceeded on their way to school.

* * *

"Great, there's Kuno," grumbled Akane as Furinkan High School came into view. 

Ranma groaned. "Aw, no! Doesn't he ever learn?"

"What is so bad about this boy?" Peorth asked her two companions.

The annoyed expression on Akane's face transformed into a sweet smile as she turned towards the Goddess. "Why don't you go on ahead of us and find out for yourself?"

"Are you crazy?!" Ranma said, appalled by his fiancées suggestion. He couldn't believe Akane had just suggested such a cruel thing; this was not like the sweet girl he had gotten to know so well during his time in Nerima. He turned towards Peorth, looking at her imploringly. "You can't do that! Kuno's a crazy pervert!"

"Don't worry about me, chéri," Peorth said, leaning in close to Ranma. She reached up with her right hand and traced his jawbone with her index finger. "I'll be fine. He can't be that bad." She whispered, her hot breath on his ear sending shivers down the martial artist's spine, then made her way around Ranma and walked towards the school.

Ranma was about to run after Peorth, but was stopped by Akane's strong hand around his biceps. "Don't. Stay with me, Ranma."

The martial artist faced his fiancée, an expression of disbelief on his face. "What are you saying?! You know how Kuno is! Do you want him to start chasing after Peorth, too?"

Akane narrowed her eyes at the pigtailed martial artist. "If you leave me now and go after Peorth, I will never forgive you," she told him flatly.

Ranma was torn on what to do. Should he stay with his fiancée, the girl he had grown really fond of and had almost gotten married to just a few days ago, or help the Goddess who came to Nerima to help him lift the curse placed on him by Kuromizu?

It was a tough decision, but in the end the Goddess won out. How could he be sure whether Akane really was the right girl for him? Sure, she was the nicest girl out of all his potential brides, but that wasn't saying much, considering her competition. As far as he knew, there could be another girl out there for him. One who didn't make fun of him and challenge him at every opportunity. One who supported him and cheered him up. One who didn't call him a pervert for a condition beyond his control and call his manhood into question. One who unconditionally accepted every part of him.

There was also the possibility that Akane's affection wasn't real, that it was simply a result of the curse placed on him. And wasn't part of the curse that he would never find happiness? If he married Akane, wouldn't that condemn her to a life of misery?

He wouldn't be responsible for that. He had to get rid of this other curse, first, whatever happened then, happened. But to do this, he first had to spare Peorth the acquaintance of Tatewaki Kuno, or she would surely blame him for getting molested and select an impossible task for him as revenge. He had learned enough from his personal experience with women to know this for sure.

His decision made, Ranma gently removed Akane's fingers from his arm. "I'm sorry. I have to go after her," he said, his voice apologetic.

Akane stood limply and watched her fiancé hurry after the brunette that had come into their lives just yesterday. After several seconds, tears welled up in her eyes, then she turned around and ran back home as fast as her legs would carry her, a trail of sparkling tears the only indication that she had been at Furinkan High.

Ranma ran after Peorth at top speed, hoping he might catch up to her and knock Kuno out before the pervert had a chance to even talk to her, but was horrified to notice that he just a little bit too late.

"What's this? Have the Gods decided to climb down from the Heavens and grace us mere mortals with their presence once again? Verily, it must be so. Tell me, fair maiden, who mightst thou be?" Kuno asked in his usual pompous manner.

An amused smile played around Peorth's lips as she respectfully inclined her head in greeting. "I am Peorth, Goddess First-class, Second Category, Unlimited."

"Indeed, thine beauty doth deserve no title other than that of Goddess!" Kuno said. "Allow me to introduce myself: I am Tatewaki Kuno, known to the common folk attending these hallowed halls as the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Lightning flashed as the kendoist finished his introduction with a deep bow.

"Yeah, yeah. You're the Blue Thunder and you're also the biggest pervert," Ranma said. He grabbed Peorth's arm and started dragging her away. "C'mon, let's get out of here."

Kuno slashed out with his bokken, blocking Ranma's ways. "Foul demon! How darest thou lay your filthy hands on Lady Peorth's divine beauty? Doth your wretchedness know no bounds?"

"Shut it, Kuno! Nobody wants to listen to you yappin' away!" Ranma said. "Hey! What's the big idea?!" He exclaimed when Peorth refused to come with him, wrenching her arm out of his grasp instead.

"What do you think you're doing?" Peorth replied angrily, narrowing her eyes at the pigtailed martial artist. "Didn't I tell you not to worry? That I can take care of myself? What do you think I am, a little girl needing to be patronised by you?"

"Ah, b- but I just, I-"

"I don't want to hear it," Peorth cut off Ranma's explanation. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need you protecting me."

"Hah! Could it be? Is thine foul magic weakening at last?" Kuno said. "Tell me, fair maiden, why didst thou come here? Surely, thou must have heard of my magnificence and come here to ask me on a date!"

"Actually, no. I came here to be with Ranma."

"What?!" Kuno exclaimed. "So the foul sorcerer's magic hath not weakened, after all! Do not fear, fair maiden! I shall free thee from the sorcerer's grasp and allow thee to date with me!"

"You be doin' no such things, Tachi!" Principal Kuno exclaimed, popping up between the three suddenly, wielding a pair of clippers in his hands. "I be da Big Kahuna! I be da one decidin' which keiki be goin' ta dis school!"

"How darest thou interfere with my vengeance?!"

"Quiet, Tachi," the principal told his son without taking his eyes off Peorth. "So you be wantin' ta go ta da Big Kahuna's school? I be allowin' it on one condition!"

"Oh? And what would that be?" Peorth asked, her voice filled with amusement.

"You be getting' a bowlcut from me!"

"What?! Thou darest lay a finger on Lady Peorth's immaculate beauty?" Kuno said. "I shall not allow it! I strike!"

"Yeah! For once, I'm with bokken-boy!" Ranma said.

The two proceeded to put words into action and attacked their eccentric principal, showing a surprising amount of coordination in the process.

"Knave! Feel the vengeance of the Heavens!"

"Why can't you leave us the hell alone?!"

"No fair! You be bad keikis! Ouch! Not mah palm tree! Owwww!"

Peorth winced as she watched the short but brutal fight.

"Let this be a lesson for thee, foul knave!" Kuno said, once the fight was over. Turning towards Peorth, he said, "Now, beautiful Goddess, wouldst thou give me the honour of going out with me?"

After the headmaster's embarrassing demand, Ranma wanted to make sure it didn't get any worse and was about to hit the perverted kendoist over the head for his question, but a sharp look from Peorth stopped him dead in his tracks and he decided not to interfere.

"I'm afraid that is impossible, chéri." Peorth said.

"Aha! So the wretched Saotome hath thee ensorcelled, still!" The upperclassman said, raising his bokken in preparation of striking down his pigtailed nemesis.

However, Peorth's reply cut off Kuno's imminent attack on Ranma. "No, chéri. It is nothing like that. I merely think that I don't know you well enough, yet."

"Ah. Forgive me for doubting thee," Kuno said, pulling a small book out of the folds of his hakama. "Take this, my diary! Once thou hast read it and thou findst thineself ready to date with me, thou needst merely call my name and I will appear by thine side!"

Peorth looked at the small book she was holding curiously. "My, how considerate of you. I shall read this as soon as I find the time to do so."

Kuno nodded. "Tis true! Thou will not find a greater gentleman than me! It is settled then, once thou hast read this, we shall go on a date. And now I must be off, the bell is about to ring!"

Ranma only stood there, his gaze dumbly wandering from Kuno's retreating figure to Peorth and back. "You're not really going to take him up on his offer, are you?" He asked the Goddess.

Peorth shot the pigtailed young man a mysterious smile. "We shall see."

"You can't be serious! Kuno's crazy and a pervert!"

The brunette Goddess' gaze became stern. "Have you already forgotten what I told you?"

"Yeah yeah, I know," Ranma grumbled. "You can take care of yourself."

"Ah, so you can learn!" Peorth said, now smiling again.

Ranma didn't reply, he simply started walking towards the school entrance. When Peorth didn't follow him, he turned around. "You coming or not?"

"I'm afraid not, chéri."

"Huh? Why not?" Ranma asked. "I thought you had to stay with me?"

"That's true," Peorth said. "However, the principal of this school has forbidden me from accompanying you, and I must abide by his authority."

Ranma snorted. "Authority? Principal Kuno? You gotta be kidding! Just come with me, nobody listens to him, anyway."

The brunette shook her head. "I cannot do that, chéri, but don't fret. While you are at school, I will be visiting some friends. We can meet here again once school is over."

"Friends? What friends?" Ranma asked suspiciously.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you," Peorth replied.

"Meh, fine then. Do whatever you want." said Ranma. It wasn't like he cared if she visited some old boyfriend of hers or went on a date with Kuno.

"Thank you, chéri. I will!" The Goddess shot the martial artist a bright smile, then walked away.

"Stupid girls," commented Ranma, watching Peorth leave. "They're all the same, even if they're Goddesses."

* * *

Well, that's that. C&C is always welcome. 


End file.
